Britain profoundly insulted by April Fools’ stories

THE UK has been deeply insulted by today’s ‘media pranks’. 

Stories claiming Prince Philip loves the EU, James Bond is a woman and potatoes can power your home have left the public in no doubt about how stupid the powerful think they are.

Francesca Ryan, from Loughborough, said: “I’m up for a decent April Fools’ gag that lulls me into momentarily believing it before hitting me with the punchline.

“But expecting me to believe, even for a moment, that the EU is putting stars on the Union Jack is calling me a cretin then beating me over the head with a neon ‘IT’S A JOKE!!’ sign.

“Meanwhile, I’m looking at the Daily Mail and have no idea which one is supposed to be the April Fool.”

A spokesman for Virgin said: “We’ve created Kids’ Class for long-haul flights! No we haven’t! April Fool!

“Laugh, you morons, laugh! Didn’t you get it? God, you’re such idiots.”