A MUM has been left wracked with guilt after failing to notice her son had picked up a copy of The Sunday Telegraph.
A pleasant pub lunch turned into a nightmare for Donna Sheridan when she saw eight-year-old Jack was engrossed in the demented newspaper.
Sheridan said: “I got distracted paying the bill and when I looked round Jack was halfway through an article claiming the SNP are planning to nationalise Waitrose.
“I was across the room like a shot and tore the paper away from him but he just looked pompous and said, ‘It’s high time we started dealing with Brexit traitors using the Treason Act.’
“Then I asked if he’d seen Matt’s cartoon about millennials being weak and greedy, but he claimed he hadn’t.
“I rushed him to A & E and thankfully the doctors said there’s no permanent damage. I just have to keep an eye on him and call 999 if he starts talking about cricket.
“Luckily he didn’t read the lifestyle article by ‘Olivia Fentington-Hernandez’, so at least he doesn’t think normal people live in mansions and have jobs as ‘holistic clean-eating consultants’.”