Discarded crisp packet captivates social media

BRITAIN’S offices have ground to a halt after workers discovered a live video feed of a discarded crisp packet lying in a street.

Workers have found themselves captivated by a Periscope video feed showing a crisp packet that is partially wedged under a bin in Doncaster.

Telesales operative Nikki Hollis said: “The crisp bag is fluttering in the wind.

“This morning at 5.24am, when I got up specially to watch it on my laptop, a hedgehog came near it.”

Engineer Norman Steele said: “I can see all of life in that little crisp packet. Like us it trapped between the gutter and the stars, or to be more precise a bin and the pavement.

“I’ve even given it a name, ‘Crispie’.”

However, the crisp packet has since been revealed as the work of digital marketing agency MediaPlayBox.

Managing director Tom Booker said: “While taking some time out from creating inane drivel for soulless corporations, I decided to wedge a crisp bag under a bin and point a camera at it, because I knew people would like that.”

He added: “I hate you, but I also hate myself.”

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Group of friends begs last member to watch Star Wars

FIVE people are begging their friend to see The Force Awakens so they can stop talking about it in code.

25-year-old Tom Booker has become the source of growing resentment among his social group for not having seen the space adventure while still expressing interest in doing so ‘soon’.

Friend Martin Bishop said: “The other day he said he had been to the cinema, but then he smiled and said he been to see The Good Dinosaur. By himself, on a Tuesday morning.”

Booker said: “What can I say? Sometimes you’re just in the mood for an animated dinosaur epic.

“This weekend is Star Wars weekend for sure. Although I have got a bit of a stiff neck so I’ll have to see how that goes, if not then next weekend for sure.

“However I am having an eye operation next week which means I can’t stare at bright fast-moving colours for at least a month. I forgot about that.”

However mutual friend Helen Archer said: “I don’t know why everyone’s so worried about ‘spoiling’ Tom. He’s seen the original Star Wars.

The Force Awakens is just that, again.”