Man absolutely livid about news he’s made up

A MAN is regularly furious about news stories that he has invented himself based on a misapprehension of the facts, it has emerged. 

Roy Hobbs skims headlines and then constructs imaginary stories which outrage him using details provided by his many prejudices.

Hobbs said: “I always knew Oxfam were too good to be true. Now we find their high street shops are a front for brothels and sex parties.

“And surprise surprise, Corbyn was a high-ranking KGB officer all along. Sleeper agent. Spent years subverting our democracy, but activate him with the code-phrase and he’ll kill the Queen.

“Sometimes I can’t believe what’s going on in the world. They’ve invented a car that goes into space but the NHS is leaving pensioners on trolleys in the car park so they can charge them. How can that be right?

Hobbs’ wife Belinda said: “Sometimes I make Roy watch the real news, but it doesn’t give him the pure outrage high he’s chasing. It’s pathetic but it saves us buying the Daily Mail.”