Telegraph reader demands story about cleaner mistaking modern art for rubbish

A TELEGRAPH reader has demanded it runs a story about how a gallery cleaner swept up some modern art because it looked like rubbish.

Windsor-based retired tax accountant Norman Steele said: “I buy the Telegraph every day hoping to read about how some Tracy Emin-type ‘contemporary art’ got thrown into a bin accidentally by a cleaning lady.

“I read about it happening last year and that is still my favourite thing in the world. It just about sums up everything about the disappointing way of life that these youngsters have adopted.

“Even if it’s totally made up, please can they print it so that I can read it out to my wife, emphasising phrases like ‘toilet-themed installation’, ‘a heap of rubble with used underpants on top’ and ‘dustpan and brush’.”

He added: “Modern art is not art – it is made by foreign gays.

“Real art is well-executed oil paintings of hunting scenes.”

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Christmas f**king with bin day again

CHRISTMAS is once again messing up important occasions like bin day.

Christmas, an annual festival enjoyed by many, has long been opposed by ordinary working people sick of the “absolute havoc” it causes to their refuse collection.

Stephen Malley of Mansfield said: “Friday is bin day.

“That’s how it’s always been and I don’t see why it should have to move around just because of some religious thing.

“We have trouble getting all the rubbish in every fortnight as it is. I’m sorry, but if Christmas is going to cause this kind of trouble every year then maybe we should think about not having it at all.”

Neighbour Roy Hobbs added: “And they mess it up again the week after just so they can change the number on the year, when there’s actually nothing up with the old one.

“I pay my council tax.”