CHRISTIANS in England are to start worshiping Princess Diana instead of Jesus with a new prayer written by the Archbishop of Canterbury and exclusively revealed on the Daily Mash today.
Rowan Williams said composing the prayer made him realise Diana was far more worthy of adoration than the Messiah because she was more spiritual, had less facial hair “and much better legs”.
The new prayer is due to be unveiled at the memorial service to mark the 10th anniversary of Diana’s death later this month, but readers of the Daily Mash have been granted this special preview.
A Prayer for Diana, Princess of Wales, by Rowan Williams.
Princess Diana, who art in Hermes,
Chanel was thy favourite brand name.
Thy King did come.
But he fancied another one, as did you anyway.
Give us this day a flash of your smile.
And forgive us our paparazzi,
As we forgive those who paparazzi against us.
And drive us not into the side of a tunnel,
When we aren’t wearing our seat belt. Amen.