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Scotland To Buy Second Hand Car With Own Money

FIRST minister Alex Salmond will today announce that Scotland is to get a part-time job and save up enough money to buy a car.

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Pensioner Completes Motorway Middle Lane Marathon

ELDERLY driver David Jackers yesterday stayed in the middle lane of the motorway for all of his 400 mile journey from Bristol to Glasgow in what police are calling the most "half-arsed" motoring they have ever seen. 

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