A COUPLE have spent the majority of their scenic weekend stroll searching for a suitable place for the woman to take a piss.
Lucy Parry and Jack Browne spent two hours wandering around looking for a discreet location after she refused to pee in the pub next to the car park because it had ‘bad vibes’.
Jack Browne said: “Yes, it may have had a blood stain on the floor of the bar and a vicious dog outside, but do you know what else it had? Plumbing.
“Now we’ve spent ages faffing about trying to find a spot far enough from the path to be hidden but not in such dense undergrowth that she gets a twig up her arse.
“There’s literally no one else here anyway so she should just piss wherever she likes. After all, nature’s greatest perk is that the whole thing is basically a massive, scenic toilet.”
Having eventually relieved herself, Parry said: “If he keeps on about it, I’m not going to feel bad that I used his scarf to tidy up the drips.”