ARE you unsure how to keep on the right side of your girlfriend? Here is a guide to the questions you should avoid if you ever want to see her again.
‘Bit tired, are we?’
This is really not the thing to say if she’s irritable after a long day at work. As well as being brilliantly patronising it implies she’s a feeble, sickly wet blanket who’s a drag to go out with. Which you soon won’t be doing.
‘Why don’t you invite your fit friend?’
Even in jest this suggests you are being mentally unfaithful and will incite jealously. Best to avoid the topic of her friends’ attractiveness entirely, and even say they’re boring or annoying to prove how much you don’t fancy them.
‘Headache? Could it be something to do with all that prosecco last night?’
Although this may be true, it’s a bad idea to have a good old chuckle at someone’s hangover when they’re in a sensitive state. A shrewd boyfriend will pretend that perhaps she’s ill and say ‘There are a lot of things going round’, therefore her peaky state is nothing to do with the eight glasses of wine last night.
‘Did you know you look just like your mother?’
Perhaps you have just met or seen a picture of her mother for the first time? If so, this comment is one to steer clear of. Even worse is suggesting she sounds like her mother, which is basically saying she’s old and is always nagging you.
‘Don’t you think the #MeToo movement was a bit over the top?’
Just don’t. You will dig a hole you will never escape from.