WORRIED a lifelong friendship might be growing stale? Want to live on the edge, side-by-side, like you used to in youth? These methods will f**k shit up:
Admit you’ve always been in love with him
You’ve been mates for so long, you’re both married, but you’re running out things to say so why not confess you’ve nursed a burning passion ever since you first met in the third year? It’s a conversation starter. You’ll go over old times in an entirely new light!
Confess to a crime
Feel you know everything about each other? Arrive late to the pub, ask your university chum Daisy to hide a bloodied knife and confess ‘it wasn’t the first’. Soon you’ll be recalling old times as you admit your involvement with a string of unsolved murders in your hometown! Bonus: Daisy will reconnect with other old friends to record her true crime podcast.
Start an affair with their partner
Friends share everything – lifts, rounds, even a bed once on Steve’s stag do when he left his keycard in that titty bar. So why not take your bond to the next level by sleeping with his wife, who you’ve always fancied? You’ll soon be recalling the time he beat you up for chatting up his sister, between blows.
Come out
Whatever you’re working with at the moment, put the friendship through its paces by admitting that you now swing the other way? Hours of chat about how you now find tits lovely/revolting and adore/abhor cocks instead.
Fake your own death
Hit the old hard reset by faking your own death. Your old pal, who’s been with you so many years, will suddenly think of so many things he meant to say but never did. Then ring up and ask him if he fancies a pint Thursday.
