Bin man, HGV driver, and other professions where you can't date on the job

NURSE? Office worker? Mobile hairdresser? It’s easy for you to find love at work. But there are vocations that refuse to accommodate a meet-cute: 

Bin man

It’s hard to charm a lady at 5am when you’ve woken them up shouting about the location of their wheelie bin, and nobody’s at their best when bespackled with rotting chicken and wet cardboard. Perhaps you and a co-worker will lock eyes one morning over a tub of clinking wine bottles?

HGV driver

Long nights driving long-haul are lonely, but eligible singles don’t hang out at motorway services waiting for Cupid’s arrow to strike. Not even fancy ones with an M&S Food. The chances are also against hooking up with gorgeous ladies at the Eddie Stobart Seasonal Ball. You’ll have to order one online.


It’s an honorable profession and we’ll all need one someday. Yet, unfairly, the living tend to avoid those who spend their days working with the dead, and it’s considered bad form to give the grieving a call and tell them they looked amazing in that little black number at the funeral.

Lighthouse keeper

Taking this job is admitting that Tinder’s not really working for you. If you’re suited to it then you’re probably not the type to pull even if you spent every waking moment in bars. You have self-consciously limited your romance options to angry seabirds, though there’s always mermaids.


Feminism has yet to see women rush in to lucrative jobs in nickel mining. Fantasies about your hands brushing while operating a boring machine 2.42km below the surface, and passion sparking over the ore-crusher, will remain just that.


The stereotypical astronaut has an anxious wife in an apron watching the rocket launch from home, but if you’ve got no-one? Are you secretly hoping all those Star Trek episodes were true, and your capsule will soon be boarded by green-skinned alien woman in silver bikinis? Or something more exotic made of sentient boiling silicate?

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Woman resolute in belief it's not Christmas yet

A WOMAN has vowed not to waver in her belief that it is not Christmas until Thursday at the very earliest. 

Emma Bradford of Northwich is refusing to acknowledge that the festive season is upon us until the first of December even while her office is bedecked in tinsel and sleigh bells jingle in every song.

She said: “It isn’t that time yet and you can’t make it be. Against the Yuletide I stand firm.

“Come on. There’s a whole month of the bastard coming up. I promise that when the time comes I’ll accept my fate, but let me have these last three days of normality.

“It’s not like there’s anything happening. None of the films are on, Santa’s still chilling at the North Pole, there’s no snow falling, there’s four weeks of work to go. All it means is fairy lights and Sandra’s special playlist on endless rotation. Surely nobody’s hungry for that.

“It’s an ordinary working Monday. We have not yet crossed the line to a winter wonderland of seasonal joy where every heart is gladdened. Hold the line, people.”

Colleague Mary Fisher said: “We’re passing the Celebrations round later, while she’s distracted. If she takes one she’s conceded it’s Christmas.”