Boyfriend who ‘can’t read minds’ also unable to understand verbal instructions

A BOYFRIEND who ‘cannot read minds’ can not comprehend verbal or written instructions either, his partner has confirmed. 

Joanna Kramer is frequently informed by Tom Logan about his lack of telepathic abilities, which he blames for his failure to understand information that is being conveyed to him by conventional means.

Kramer said: “Apparently, because Tom can’t read minds, he had no way of knowing I hate Thai food. I’d argue he could have got it from me saying ‘I hate Thai food’ last month.

“Also, when I’ve openly asked for Peter Andre tickets for my birthday, it doesn’t take Professor fucking X to work out that’s what I want. Instead of leather trousers two sizes too small.

“Then there’s the time I emailed telling him that no, I did not want to go on Martin’s Party In Amsterdam tour because, and I quote directly from the email, ‘Martin’s a twat’. The reply? ‘Great, booked us both on’.

“I’m fully aware he can’t read minds. If he did, he’d know exactly who I’m thinking about when we have sex. Clue: not him.”

Logan said: “How was I supposed to know Joanna kept telling me all this stuff? I’m not a bloody mind-reader, am I?”