A SERIAL cheater has confirmed that significant numbers of his WhatsApps have mysteriously vanished, just like the prime minister’s.
Ryan Whittaker, whose girlfriend suspects that he may have been unfaithful on a number of occasions between January 2020 and October 2021, was dismayed to announce that thousands of messages from that period are simply gone.
He said: “Straight up, I thought Rishi and Boris were bullshitting the Covid inquiry but it seems this is a widespread problem.
“Just like them, all the messages that would prove my innocence and definitely weren’t tit shots from Tinder birds have gone while my conversations with the missus are untouched.
“It seems whatever happened to the lads from Downing Street – basically doing nothing wrong, being suspected of it, feeling wounded that a technical glitch leaves them unable to prove their innocence – also happened to me. WhatsApp should be ashamed.
“Now anyone could look through my phone, which yeah I did change a few times through simple clumsiness, and not find a single piece of evidence I ever hooked up with a slam piece in a Bristol Travelodge because it didn’t take place.
Whittaker’s girlfriend Eleanor Shaw said: “Huh, bizarre. Oh well, better carry on like this never happened.”