A REVISED version of Dickens’s A Christmas Carol details the transformation of an internet dater visited by three women he ghosted.
The modernised classic sees Tinder bellend Ed Scrooge change his ways after visits from matches past, present and yet to come.
Writer Julian Cook explained: “In revisiting the timeless morality tale, we realised that online dating was the perfect setting.
“Our central character has profile pictures of himself at Machu Picchu and with a dog that’s not his, talks excessively about his charity work while never asking any questions, and crucially never calls women back after a shag.
“On Christmas Eve he’s visited by the ghost of exes who take him off to see his Christmas past in Duke’s nightclub in Chelmsford, his Christmas present rereading The Game between wanks, and his Christmas future indiscriminately sending dick pics to strangers.
“He learns a lesson, asks a street urchin to find him ‘the biggest bird in the nightclub’, and loves her for herself because he can now see beyond appearances.
“God bless us, every one.”