THE clitoris is to be renamed in honour of the first man to ever find it.
Males across the UK are planning expeditions to their partners’ genitals with the aim of being immortalised in history as the man the female sex organ is named after.
Martin Bishop, 38, believes he has finally pinned down the elusive clitoris after an arduous search spanning almost two decades.
He said: “It’s been a long time coming. I’ve made maps and charts, kept detailed logs of dates and times of my search. I had almost given up hope.
“But I was having sex with my girlfriend Helen when I stumbled upon something I’ve never come across before, a small, glistening beacon of female pleasure. Now all I have to do is find it again and put a flag on it.
“The clitoris – which will soon called ‘Martin’s Point’ – is just the start. I’m hoping to find the g-spot, mankind’s final frontier. In ten years’ time we’ll be calling it Bishop’s Valley.”
However other men are also racing to find the clitoris, potentially resulting in it having a different name like ‘Gary’s Nub’ and bedroom conversations such as: “Will you rub my Alan Hughes?”
However Bishop’s long-term girlfriend, Helen Archer, said: “Last night he spent 30 minutes rubbing my left flap. I just got myself off after.”