A COUPLE are torn between splitting up and starting a new chapter in their lives together by having a baby.
An earlier period of bitter rows led to Steve Malley and Nikki Hollis moving in together and adopting a dog, so they feel their best options now are to never see each other again, or raise a child together.
Hollis said: “Maybe the hole in our relationship is baby-shaped. The only way to know is by shoving one in there. Or maybe I just hate Steve and I should move out of our flat before the constant gnawing resentment gives me brain damage.
“We could always just have the baby, and if it doesn’t help we can split up anyway. Obviously that would be terrible, in fact the opposite of the joyful event of starting a family, but what the hell, it might be worth rolling the dice.”
Malley was equally unsure: “I despise Nikki as a person, but maybe I’d like her as a mum. Plus, whenever we argue I could score cheap points by saying ‘Shhh, think of the baby’. I have to say, fatherhood is looking increasingly appealing.”
Hollis’s parents also backed the baby option: “Once a baby shows up, they’ll forget their problems. That’s what fixed our marriage – blaming the baby brought us together.”
Therapist Donna Sheridan said: “People often confuse deep incompatibility with true love, probably due to all the mismatched couples they see in TV and films. I blame Nikki and Steve’s problems on Romancing the Stone.”
