A COUPLE are celebrating a magical decade of him having far more affection for her than she does for him, and her being substantially out of his league.
Tom Logan has had a relative surplus of love during his 10 years of marriage to wife Clare, who likes him ’quite a bit’ and has flatteringly described him to friends as ‘a safe bet’.
Logan said: “It’s so nice to have a night to ourselves so I can celebrate my undying love and she can celebrate finding a friend she finds it tolerable to meet her basic sexual needs with.
“Tonight’s special because it’s exactly 10 years since she said, ‘Meh, alright then.’ It’s a moment I’ll cherish forever.
“I can gaze at her for hours, like I was doing just now. Okay, she was texting other people, probably male acquaintances I haven’t met, but my brain is so addled I totally trust her. She’s just not capable of doing anything bad.
“Relationships don’t get much better than this, except if she reluctantly agrees to keep me on for another 10 years of acceptable company. I feel sorry for people who’ve never meet that special person who takes pity on them like this.”
Clare Logan, who rarely uses her married name, said: “Tom’s a nice enough guy and he’s good with kids, pets and the hoover. You’ve got to listen to your heart when it says ‘You can get used to anything’.
“To be honest, I didn’t realise he was in love with me until tonight. I feel kind of bad now. Right, what shall I have for the main course?”