Sunday, 27th September 2020

Couple enter 'everything partner does is annoying' phase of relationship

A COUPLE have confirmed they have been together long enough to begin hating each other a bit.

Lauren Hewitt and Joshua Hudson started dating three years ago and, since moving in together recently, have fully committed to identifying each other’s most irritating habits.

Hewitt said: “I fell in love with Josh for his sense of humour and carefree attitude to life, but it’s his appalling domestic habits and loud breathing that have become my focus.

“I can now see what an enraging and thoughtless slob he is so I know what we have together is real. My behaviour also seems to infuriate him, so it’s reassuring to feel we’re both serious about this relationship.

“I don’t want to jinx things, but I reckon after a few more months of this we’ll be ready to start thinking about breaking up over wedding plans.”

Joshua Hudson commented: “I know Lauren better than anyone in the world, which is unfortunate because she’s a f**king nightmare.

“I guess it must be time to buy a ring.”