A MAN has presented his date with a legal document indemnifying both parties, should they progress to a relationship, from Christmas 2022 presents.
Tom Logan presented Hannah Tomlinson with the contract following their starter, recognising that the inauspicious timing of their first date necessitated clarification to ‘clear the air’.
He said: “If we’d started dating at the beginning of December, we could shrug it off. But November? There’s no chance of love blossoming with that outlay hanging over you.
“We’d be past the month mark and obligated to buy without knowing each other. End result? Huge non-recoverable spend, dissatisfaction on both sides, affection shrivels and dies.
“So I took the liberty of preparing this document. We both sign and we’re explicitly prohibited from buying each other any gift until January 31st, 2023. I just feel codifying it will release inhibitions and enable romance.
“It comes with the standard clauses about you explaining to friends I’m not cheap, loophole for the exchange of sexual favours if the relationship’s reached that point, and a punitive system of fines for violations. Sign here and countersign here.”
Tomlinson said: “Delighted to sign. And let me say I find your insistence on fiscal responsibility very attractive.”
