Decision to dump boyfriend made by committee

A WOMAN has consulted her female friends and relatives so that they can collectively decide wether or not she should dump her boyfriend.

Lucy Parry summoned them all to a specially created WhatsApp group called ‘Ditch Tom?’ and surveyed their thoughtful responses of ‘Dump him, babe’, ‘You deserve better, hun’ and thumbs up emojis.

Parry said: “Some of the initial reactions were a bit random, like inspirational quotes screenshotted from Instagram saying ‘You can only love someone else if you love yourself first’. The type of unhelpful bollocks that I immediately disregarded.

“Then there were negative reactions, such as ‘You’re 32 now, if you’re not careful you’ll end up a dried up old spinster left on the shelf’. Thanks for that one, Mum.

“But aside from her, the results were so overwhelmingly in favour that I have no choice but to break up with Tom. I’m not even sure I want to, but the girls have already started drafting a message accusing him of being an ’emotionally toxic selfish prick with a bald spot’ so I guess I’m committed now.”

Upon receiving the text dumping him, Tom Logan shared it in a WhatsApp group named ‘The Lads’, where he asked his friends to agree with him that Parry was ‘mental’.

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Harry Styles dating Ross Barkley