'Do you even f**king know me?' says dad who's opened DIY and race car-themed cards

A FATHER-OF-TWO who received motor racing and DIY-themed Father’s Day cards has asked his children if they even know who he f**king is. 

Nathan Muir is interested in video gaming and Marvel movies, both of which his kids could easily have found cards themed around if they had ever paid attention to his actual personality.

Muir said: “I’m just some big ogre that shouts ‘Bathtime!’ to you, aren’t I? Not a person, with thoughts and feelings and interests.

“You’ve seen me playing Hitman on the Xbox, or watching Avengers: Endgame. But when it comes to saying how much I mean to you, apparently your minds go blank.

“Motor racing? Have I ever once watched that shit? DIY? I don’t even build IKEA flat packs. Is that what you see? Just a cardboard cut-out labelled ‘Generic Father Figure’? It breaks my heart.”

Wife Sally Muir said: “Actually I bought the cards to make a point because it annoys the f**k out of me that Nathan spends all his time watching superhero movies and playing video games.”

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Woman proud to support independent shops once she's cross-checked prices online

A WOMAN is passionate about supporting local businesses, provided they are not marking products up too much compared to global retail giant Amazon. 

Eleanor Shaw is a keen advocate for independent retailers, as long as they are not “taking the piss” with the prices they charge to cover their overheads, staffing costs, rent and tax bills.

Shaw said: “I love going into an actual shop, where people are passionate about what they’re selling and don’t just want to mass-market cheap crap.

“However, sometimes smaller shops aren’t as hot on the offers. I always do a quick search on my phone while I’m there so I know an independent business owner isn’t ripping me off.

“We have a fantastic Fair Trade store near us, full of ethically sourced food and nature-friendly shower gel. I feel like a better person just walking in there.

“But I always check to see if it’s cheaper overall to bulk-buy a crate of quinoa from Amazon. The developing world deserves fair treatment, but not if it costs me a few quid I could be putting towards a new spiralizer.”