There are good and bad reasons not to pursue a relationship, and sometimes the bad reasons mean more in the long run. Here’s five of them:
They eat too loudly
Brushed off on a first date if they’re pretty and fascinating, but if things go well? Before you know it you’re living together and they’re wolfing down casserole opposite every night taking big gulps of air through their mouth and you hear nothing else even in sleep.
They’re a bad kisser
Ignore that they might be out of practice. No matter how long their dry spell, it’s like being able to dance or parallel-park; you don’t lose it. Give them the benefit of the doubt and you’re kissing a dry little beak on your dying day.
They didn’t like your favourite movie
Shared cultural appreciation is important, so if they dare glance at their phone during The Princess Bride then they can f**k right off. If they can’t love Terminator 2, Dirty Dancing, Eternal Sunshine or Frankenhooker they can’t love you. Unless yours is the 1996 Doctor Who TV movie, in which case love is not deserved.
They snore
You can’t blame something for something they can’t control, unless it’s four f**king AM and they’re snorting like Satan possessing swine and they would only do this if they were evil. End it by getting up, turning on the lights, packing their bag, calling an Uber and opening the front door.
They’re not really hot, rich and 100 per cent compatible
There’s every chance the perfect multi-millionaire ten will walk into your life tomorrow. And what if it’s too late because you’ve compromised like a schmuck and built a relationship with someone who loves you unconditionally and supports you in all your endeavours? Ditch them immediately.
