HAVE you upset your partner with completely thoughtless gift-buying? Here are some classic f**k ups:
Confuse waist size with age
When shopping for someone of the opposite sex, clothing sizes are so confusing that they may as well be written in Wingdings. However, try and figure it out before you make a purchase as, if they are 42 years old and you panic-buy them something with a 42-inch waist, they will think you are completely f**king stupid. And they will be right.
Get what you like instead of what they like
Are you really into wild swimming whereas they freak out at the thought of getting in the bath? Don’t buy them a wetsuit, however much you want them to appreciate your passion. They will hate you for it, and also for wasting the money in the joint account.
Buy something ‘sexy’
Whether it’s men trying to buy nice lingerie or women thinking their partner will be into edible body paint, buying something sexy for your other half is a terrible idea. However much you spend the gift will be incredibly tacky, and will create so much pressure the next time you have sex that neither of you will want to do it again for six months.
Think they will appreciate a practical present
Does the toilet cistern need a new lid? Don’t for a second think that your partner will appreciate you buying them one for their birthday. While it’s true that they will get an awful lot of use out if it, you won’t because they’ll have kicked you out for being an unthoughtful dickhead.
Get a pet without consulting them
Unless you are giving it to a child, a surprise pet is never a good idea. While opening a box and finding a puppy in it is fun in the moment, having to spend the next 11 years picking its shit up and taking it to the vet is not, especially if you didn’t explicitly choose to.