Tuesday, 26th January 2021

Grown man still refers to genitals as 'Mr Winky'

A WOMAN is exasperated by her husband’s continued use of childish slang to refer to his genitals, despite being a 41-year-old chartered accountant. 

Helen Muir described her growing frustration at husband Nathan’s inability to call his penis and testicles anything other than ‘Mr Winky and his two fat friends’.

Helen said: “Obviously it ruins a lot of things for us. Dirty talk is completely off the table. Whenever we’ve tried it, it sounds like he’s asked me to commit unspeakable acts on one of the Mr Men.

“I presume it stems from some deeply buried childhood trauma but it’s very hard to sympathise when being asked if I’ll help Mr Winky stand to attention on the underpants parade ground.”

Nathan Muir said: “If you spent your entire working week studying tax loopholes, you’d want to vanish into the marvellous imaginary world of your genitals too.”