DURING their weekly bout of intercourse, a man mistakenly believed he had finally found his girlfriend’s clitoris, he has revealed.
Eagerly rubbing a patch of his partner’s knee, one Jack Browne was thrilled that his long and inept search for girlfriend Lauren Hewitt’s clitoris had finally reached an end.
An elated Browne said: “They’re tricky little things to track down, but I knew at once when I hit upon it. Lauren was going hog-wild. Honestly, you should’ve heard some of the noises she was making.
“I, Jack Browne, have found the Holy Grail of genitalia. I’m like Indiana Jones. Or a skilled hunter whose patience and marksmanship enabled me to bag my first clitoris.”
Hewitt said afterwards: “The bastard just spent the last few minutes aggravating a patch of eczema I had on the back of my leg. How he managed to drift that far away from my fanny, I’ll never know.
“It’s literally sitting in plain sight if he went and looked for it, but instead he thinks it’s in some elusive hiding place, like a gynaecological Osama Bin Laden.
“Mind you, the couple of times I have shown him where it is he was completely out of his depth. He basically just frantically pawed at my bits like he was playing a scratchcard.
“Next time I say that I’m going to give him a blowjob, I think I’ll just have a Magnum and say my mouth got lost on the way too.”