A MAN who wanted to avoid the awkwardness of turning a woman down after their first date achieved the same result by having sex with her instead.
Tom Booker was going to give Grace Wood-Morris a little speech about not being in the right place right now and the vibe being off, but instead took the coward’s way out with preposterously poor lovemaking.
He said: “I couldn’t bear to see her face as I let her down, so I did this instead. That way I could keep my eyes tight shut when I ejaculated after 98 seconds.
“She was into me, I wasn’t into her, that power imbalance embarrassed me, so I did the decent thing and let her know there was no future in it the old-fashioned way. And believe me, she’s in no doubt.
“Back at her place I wasted zero time letting her know I wasn’t a keeper. No foreplay and a swift finish during which I moaned ‘Mommy’. She couldn’t get me off her fast enough. And best of all, she feels like she’s the one doing the dumping.
“I walked out of there with my head held high. I’d ended it like a gentleman. Within 40 minutes she’d texted me a polite but final ending and I could block her number with a clear conscience.”
Wood-Morris said: “I’ve had worse.”
