A MAN has started an argument with his girlfriend in the misguided belief that it could lead to mind-blowing make-up sex.
Horny 24-year-old Ryan Whittaker initiated the row after reading how great post-argument sex can be in his girlfriend Cosmopolitan, but it has spiralled into a full-scale relationship breakdown with intercourse seemingly further away than ever.
Whittaker said: “Make-up sex is item 19 of 23 Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life but now I think I might be single. Uh?
“All I did was criticise Lauren’s spending habits, then when she admitted it was getting out of hand I upped the stakes by accusing her of having an affair. Now she’s locked herself in the bathroom and won’t talk to me, and I don’t think it’s because she’s playing hard to get.
“I can’t back down now, because women don’t like beta males, but I have to admit I’m struggling to keep thinking her crying down the phone to her sister is foreplay.
“Maybe when there’s a lull in the conversation I’ll knock on and say ‘Fancy doing it?’”
After watching Lauren pack her possessions into her car and drive away, Whittaker said: “If my calculations are correct, we’re a couple of hours from the most earth-shattering shag.”