THE parents of an 18-year-old who has left home for university are shagging way much more than he could ever hope to be.
Donna Sheridan and husband Tom say their virtually extinct sex life has sprung back to life now they no longer have a sulking teenager hanging about the house.
Donna said: “Say what you like about the wonder of having kids but there’s no denying they kill your sex life for two decades.
“We tried a bit when he was little but they quickly reach an age where you can’t get away with saying ‘Mummy and daddy are playing a wrestling game’ when they walk into the bedroom when you’re at it hammer and tongs.
“So we basically gave up until now, when it’s on tap whenever we feel like it. Which is pretty much constantly.”
Oliver said: “I thought uni would be one long screwfest. It’s the only reason I came here as I’ve got no real interest in my poxy geography degree.
“I couldn’t have been more wrong. If I can’t finally get laid during Freshers’ Fortnight I might as well pack it in and join a f**king monastery.”