A 34-YEAR-OLD man who says he ‘never wants to grow up’ believes it makes him sound appealing.
Tom Booker, a ‘creative freelancer’, thinks that refusing to settle down or stop taking washing to his mum’s makes him seem alluringly unencumbered by the stresses of adult life.
Booker said: “Staying free from all the conventional crap about having a steady income and not sleeping on your nephew’s top bunk keeps me fresh, which is catnip to girls.”
Ex-girlfriend Nikki Hollis said: “When I first met Tom I thought he was a sexy, idealistic rebel, like Joaquin Phoenix but less vegan, thank f**k.
“However, after a couple of months the shine wore off and I realised his self-professed ‘youthful outlook’ just means he wants to play Xbox with actual 12-year-olds.”
Booker’s mother Debbie added: “He’s coming home on Saturday because he needs his nails cut. I’ve really f**ked up with this one.”