A WOMAN who asked a friend for advice on a new relationship is blaming her for shattering illusions she was perfectly content with.
Grace Wood-Morris, aged 26, was hoping pal Charlotte Phelps would offer unqualified support for her deluded fantasy that new boyfriend Joe Turner was The One, only to be offered useful insights and practical guidance that blew her comforting delusions apart.
She said: “I was telling Lottie about Joe, and how the way he wore an old T-shirt for the third date shows that he recognises my true self and we’ll get married next year.
“But this bitch had the audacity to give me really wise words of advice, telling me it may not be love I’m feeling but infatuation and I should take it slow to avoid spooking him, like I did with the last three.
“What kind of f**king friend gives their mate that kind of responsible, well-reasoned counsel? When I was blissfully living in an oblivious joy-filled fantasy of him being a secret millionaire who wanted to start a family right away?
“Next time I’m going to Hayley for advice. She makes terrible decisions and her life’s a mess. She’d know to pat me on the back and say ‘well done’.”
Phelps said: “Usually I’d let Grace coast along in her little dream world, but she was the first to point out my ex wasn’t planning a secret proposal in the Maldives and was in fact cheating on me. Cow.”