Sunday, 7th June 2020

Sex best time to compile mental to do list, say married couples

MARRIED couples have agreed that mid-sex is the best time to make a little list of everything that needs doing around the house. 

Researchers found that the couples each take the opportunity, while occupied with an undemanding, familiar physical task, to tot up what they need to get done before the family visits start next month.

Emma Bradford, aged 34, said: “I’m too busy most of the time. But during the middle bit, while he’s doing his thrusting, I finally have a bit of peace to think about redecorating the bathroom.

“Even when he’s finishing me off, I delay it by planning the kids’ lunchboxes for the next week. Why not. Let him sweat a bit.”

Husband Justin agreed: “As we only have sex monthly I’m always overexcited, so I slow myself down by detailing exactly what needs to go to the charity shop and how I’ll fit it in the Astra.

“Then, in the final throes, I’m desperately going through everything that’s wrong with the car. Helps me last those crucial extra few seconds.”

Emma said: “It’s multi-tasking. Two birds with one stone, so to speak. You’ve no idea how boring it gets shagging the same bloke all the time.”