DATING is hard. And saying outright you don’t want to have sex with someone is brutal, so use a feeble excuse instead. Here are some excellent ones.
‘There was more of a friendship vibe’
Use the meaningless phrase ‘friendship vibe’. If you said you saw them as a friend, that would be a huge insult to your actual friends, who would surely never hang out with you if your conversation was like Gwyneth Paltrow’s hippy twaddle.
‘I’m just so busy at the moment’
Clever, you’ve implied you’re focused on intellectual pursuits like your career. As if you wouldn’t drop everything for a shag the second someone genuinely fit looked your way. The rejected party knows that, but they can’t say so without sounding mental and possessive.
‘We’re just too similar’
In many ways this one’s absolute nonsense, because who wouldn’t want to shag themselves? You’re perfect! But at least you’ve softened the blow by letting them (wrongly) believe they’re as attractive and interesting as you.
‘I’m moving away’
Very specific and an outright lie. But you have to respect the boldness. If they live very locally and there’s a chance you may meet at random, you’ll have to tell the bizarre lie ‘I moved back again’. But if they can’t take that obvious a hint you probably wouldn’t want to go out with them anyway.
‘I’ve realised I’m not in the headspace for something right now’
Wonderfully vague. It implies you’re getting over an ex, which sounds very valid. However, what you actually mean by ‘headspace’ is the mental state of not finding them physically repulsive.
‘The chemistry wasn’t there’
Means nothing. Truly nothing. But sounds more scientific than ‘You gave me the ick when you started doing maths on how much we each owed on the bill’.
‘I need to work on myself before I get involved with anyone new’
Exact translation: my hand can do the job much better than you ever could.
