Sunday, 9th August 2020

'This would be a nice place for a wedding' says passive-aggressive mother

A PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE mother has caused tension by pointing out a location’s potential as a wedding venue.

Nikki Hollis was frozen in terror when her boyfriend Tom Logan’s mother Susan made the observation as they walked past a church.

Hollis said: “She tried her best to make it sound off-the-cuff, but I bet that catty busybody has been eyeing this place up for a while.

“It’s not like she cares about who’s getting hitched to Tom either. She just wants an excuse to get photographed looking glam and bitch about the bride’s weight while her husband props up the bar.

“Me and Tom aren’t ready for marriage anyway. We’ve only been going out for three months so we haven’t had time to destroy each other’s identity or sense of self-worth yet.

“However I am tempted to call her bluff and say that I’ve dreamed of having a small civil partnership in a municipal office ever since I was a little girl.”

As the trio swung by M&S on the way home, Susan remarked how its sandwiches could be used as cheap wedding entrees as she shovelled them into her shopping trolley.