Wednesday, 5th August 2020

Woman coyly tells date she's going for a massive piss

A WOMAN has alluringly confided in her date that she is going to the bathroom for a really big piss.

After sinking three glasses of Jacob’s Creek in 40 minutes, Lucy Parry whispered to date James Bates that she was just popping to the ladies for a humongous leak.

He said: “The date was going well and I was really attracted to Lucy. When she leant into my ear and dipped her voice to a low, husky tone, I could barely contain my excitement.

“So you can imagine my confusion when she said she was off to ‘urinate like a motherf**king racehorse’. Then as she sauntered to the bathroom she looked over her shoulder and shot me a wink.

“Is that some kind of code? Am I meant to do something now? Or are the flirtatiousness and having a wee unrelated? I’m incredibly turned on, and also afraid.”

Speaking over the hand dryer, Parry said: “I’m clearly drunk and didn’t plan that, but I think it either scared James off or put us on a new level of intimacy.

“If anything’s going to happen I need to ease off the wine. If I don’t I won’t get through sex without another wee break.”