Saturday, 4th April 2020

Under no circumstances will man hold handbag for girlfriend in public

A MAN absolutely will not carry his partner’s handbag for her in public, ever. 

Stephen Malley is vehemently opposed to being seen in possession of a handbag in case he is considered a ‘sissy’ by passing strangers who almost certainly would not notice or care.

Malley said: “I’ve got nothing against gays or transsexuals, I just don’t feel being seen holding a handbag is right for me.

“I’m particularly concerned about being mocked by groups of teenage boys. I’m 38, pretty hard and it has never happened, but it still scares me.”

Malley’s partner Donna Sheridan said: “Goodness knows what’s going on in his head. He could hide it under his coat if he’s worried about being ostracised by the male community.

“Stupidly I once shoved my bag into his hands while I nipped into McDonald’s for a wee. He left it 10 metres away from where he was sitting and the police took it away for a controlled explosion.”

Malley said: “I only did what any normal man would do in that situation.”