A COUPLE who have been going out for three weeks have pledged to continue having sex every day for the rest of their relationship.
Annoyingly lovestruck Jack Browne and Sophie Rodriguez have undue faith in their sex drives remaining consistently high for years and decades to come, making them unique among the human species.
Browne said: “This isn’t just the honeymoon period. We’re totally different to every other couple who let petty things like childcare, stress and revulsion at their own physical deterioration get in the way of sex. We’ll be different.
“Nothing will come between us. I’m assigned to my company’s Glasgow office next month while Sophie’s in London, but we’ll easily overcome minor challenges like that. I’m sure she’ll be happy to go halves on my massive train fare to meet her every day.
“I just know 24 hours on this earth won’t go by without us shagging. I’ll never find sex with Sophie a bit samey and start fantasising about her friends. It just doesn’t happen.”
Rodriguez said: “Cynics have pointed out I said the same thing about my last boyfriend and we were like brother and sister after a year. Jack’s totally different, although I quite fancy just eating biscuits in bed tonight. No, no, it’s too soon. Forget I said that.”