A MAN is proudly owning the news that he and his partner are pregnant, even though he will not have to carry the baby or give birth to it.
Father-to-be Tom Booker believes having unprotected sex with wife Donna is the most impressive part of their pregnancy, and expects to be heaped with a generous amount of praise for this onerous task.
He said: “All she had to do was lie back while I did the hard work. Taking five minutes to blow my beans up her was an exhausting chore, which is why I fell asleep immediately afterwards.
“Now all Donna’s got to do is let her womb work its magic over the next nine months, which is ages. There’s a risk she’ll forget my valuable contribution during that time, so I’ll experience over-the-top sympathy pains during her morning sickness so she remembers.
“And when people ask how the baby’s coming along, I’ll cut Donna off as if I’m the one growing a foetus in my body. Making sure she’s safe and well is the more strenuous part of the whole process, after all.”
Wife Donna said: “If he carries on like this I’ll be announcing ‘we’re divorced’. It might suit him better to be a ‘deadbeat dad’.”
