HAVING a bad day? It’ll get even worse if you run into your ex. For maximum damage, cross paths with them on these occasions:
When they’re on a hot date
When it comes to ex partners, ignorance is bliss. You’re free to imagine they’re pining after you, maybe even plucking up the courage to ask for you back. This illusion will be shattered when you bump into them holding hands with a perfect ten and laughing their head off. Stay at home forever to avoid this tragedy.
When you’re getting dumped
Even if the person chucking you is saying and doing all the right things, getting dumped is always going to hurt. Running into your ex during this heartbreaking ordeal would rub salt into the wound, not least because they’d probably say something inappropriate like ‘Trouble in paradise?’ then give the person dumping you pointers.
In a pharmacy
If you’ve popped into a pharmacy to pick up something embarrassing like hemorrhoid ointment, the last thing you’ll want to see is your ex leaving with a bumper pack of condoms and a big grin on their face. Skulk in the shampoo aisle until they’ve gone and you can run home in tears.
On a blind date
You’ve scrubbed up, prepared your least creepy chat up lines, and now you’re at the bar nervously waiting for your blind date to walk through the doors. It would be unfortunate if your ex was having dinner in the same place and spent the evening watching and laughing as you struggled through an increasingly awkward evening with someone patently wrong for you.
Any waking hour
Even if you’ve just won the lottery and hooked up with an underwear model, there’s never a good time to run into your ex. You’ll be reminded of all those good times you had together, like when you went a whole morning without arguing. Try emigrating to a different hemisphere to dodge them for good.