WASPS are nasty little bastards because they suffer from low self-esteem and confidence, experts have confirmed.
New research has found that the unpleasant stripy twats would not spend their time harassing picnics and needlessly stinging people if they had been loved more as larvae.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Wasps suffer from low mood and feelings of inadequacy, which causes them to lash out at others, often in the form of hanging around pub gardens ruining your lunchtime pint.
“While they may appear to be aggressive, vindictive little shits who simply want to ruin your day for no reason, wasps are actually struggling with feelings of worthlessness which manifest as expressions of anger.
“So the next time a wasp hides in your shoe and ruins your entire day by leaving you limping after a nasty sting, it’s important to remember that they are only doing it for attention and need a cuddle, rather than being smashed to a pulp with a slipper.”
Wasp Nikki Hollis said. “Nah, he’s talking shit. I’m just innately awful.”