YOUR ex-boyfriend has found a lovely new woman, everyone says so, and you’d definitely be pleased for him if she wasn’t actually a massive bitch. Here’s why:
She thinks she’s better than you
Just because your ex started dating her after you, she’s convinced she’s the ‘upgrade’. She swans around on Insta acting like she’s the iPhone 14 and you’re the 6S. There’s no outward indication that she feels this way because she’s buried it deep inside, but it’s unmistakable if you know where to look.
She’s fake
Nobody is that happy all the time. All that smiling, ‘being nice’, and taking an interest in your ex’s sister’s shitty Etsy business only demonstrates that she is a skilled and practiced deceiver, like one of these fraudsters on Netflix. Her boobs are probably implants too.
She has a high-flying job
That might seem like a bonus, but inevitably that’s the kind of job that requires her to fly to a business meeting in Frankfurt at a moment’s notice, even if currently she’s based in Tring. Has she ever even considered the impact of her career on the environment? Selfish bint. And she’ll have affairs with men called Dieter.
She’s vegan
The holier-than-thou cow’s vegan, which might offset the flights you imagine she takes, but consider this – how hard is that on other people, always having to accommodate her dietary requirements? It’s despicable behaviour, redolent of a psychopath.
She volunteers at an animal shelter
Nobody’s that nice. Serial killers always go too far because they get off on not getting caught, and this is where she’s given herself away. Turning up every weekend helping those dogs? A front. It’s either drug dealing or human trafficking. Somebody should tell him.
She’s with your ex
How is that fair? You were ready for him to come crawling back or be miserable forever or to date someone way, way worse, but this bitch struts in and dates him as if he’s emotionally available and ready to commit? Who the f**k does she think she is? What does she see in that stupid, lovely, gorgeous twat?
