Woman dating Tory out of pity

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Man with way hotter girlfriend desperately asked how they met

A MAN whose girlfriend is much more attractive than him has been bombarded with desperate, probing questions about how on earth they met.

Tom Booker’s social circle has been asking how he met his stunning new girlfriend with a palpable sense of alarm because he is a relatively low-status individual in the attractiveness hierarchy.

Friend Martin Bishop said: “Hypnotism, it’s got to be hypnotism. Maybe if we say her trigger word she’ll snap out of it and realise her misfortune.

“Maybe she’s suffered a head injury recently? That would go some way to making sense of all this. Or perhaps Tom secretly won the lottery or rescued her from a burning building. Going out with Tom could be a coping mechanism for the mental trauma.”

Drinking buddy Joseph Turner said: “Like all the best mysteries and magic tricks, there’s probably a simple and obvious explanation. But I’m f**ked if I can figure it out.

“He could at least give us a hint. A time, a place, anything. Otherwise this is going to drive me nuts like a crossword clue. I’m happy for him and all, but come on, put us out of our misery. Is it blackmail?”

Booker’s girlfriend Ellie Shaw said: “My mates are asking me similar questions, but with an undertone of disgust instead of panic.”