Woman furious at being rejected by man she does not fancy

A WOMAN has been left seething with rage after she was rejected by a man she does not find attractive.

Sophie Rodriguez was outraged when her idle flirting was rebuffed by Tom Logan, a colleague who she had previously described as ‘the living embodiment of gross’.

Rodriguez said: “Read the room, mate. I was pretending to come on to you at the post-work drinks for a laugh. I don’t actually think your goatee is sexy, I was doing you a favour by making you look good in front of the other guys.

“So for you to gently remove my hand from your arse and tell me you feel there is more of a friendship vibe between us, well, that’s just taking the f**king piss.

“You’re a short, rotund IT consultant with a cheap suit and psoriasis and I’m the hottest person you’ve ever met in real life. How dare you tell me I’ve had enough to drink and offer to call me a taxi?”

Tom Logan said: “While Sophie might be best-looking woman in the office, she’s also a total bitch who enjoys playing mind games. I can do way better than her.”

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You're not a silver fox just because you've gone grey, man told

GOING grey does not automatically make you a mature object of desire, it has been confirmed.

Martin Bishop, 48, thinks that because he now has hair like silken threads of radiant moonlight women will fall at his feet, but friends have explained to him this is not necessarily the case.

Bill McKay said: “Martin doesn’t seem to realise that there is more to being a silver fox than reaching middle-age and having salt-and-pepper hair.

“It’s mostly about the lifestyle, and Martin doesn’t have that. He drives a Dacia Sandero, not an E-type Jaguar. And he doesn’t have a penthouse apartment in Porto, nor the unlimited funds necessary to support the conditional affections of a much younger woman.

“He’s just got a major signifier for being over-the-hill and having erectile dysfunction growing out of the top of his head. He might as well wear a T-shirt with ‘Help, I’m having a midlife crisis’ written on it.”

Bishop said: “Bill’s just jealous because he’s receding. If there was a competition for us to find wives, other than the one Bill already has, it’s pretty obvious who would win.”