A WOMAN has been left stunned by a one-night stand that was not a complete sexual disaster, she has confessed.
26-year-old Emma Bradford expected her night with plasterer Tom Logan to be as bitterly disappointing as every other one-off sexual encounter she has ever had, but was shocked to find she actually enjoyed it.
She said: “It’s inexplicable. We were smashed and all over each other in the club, I really fancied him so I was up for a bit of crappy sex. You know, the same way you fancy a kebab.
“But his flat didn’t stink, there weren’t any pictures of naked women on the walls and he even had a real, proper bed.
“Then when we started having sex he actually began with foreplay. Not by grunting some porno bullshit or simply ejaculating. And he cared whether I was into it. I am incredulous.
“It’s so strange. Usually I can’t get out of there fast enough, but when he offered me a cup of tea I actually stayed for the chat. I’ve never done the walk of shame without the shame before. Weird.”
She added: “No, of course I didn’t have an orgasm. He’s not Jesus.”