Were you the kid that was always rude to their mum?

ONE kid at school was always totally out of order to their mum. Was it you? Take our test to find out.

How did you introduce your mum to friends?

A) Mum, Tony; Tony, Mum.

B) Tony, this is the BITCH that lives with us until the council come to get her.

How did you farewell your mum at the school gates?

A) Waving, one hand.

B) Flipping the bird, both hands.

Your mum wouldn’t let you watch an 18-rated film. Did you call her:

A) So annoying.

B) A fat fucking shit-for-brains fascist slag.

Which of these would you have got your mum for her birthday?

A) Flowers; homemade IOU token for flowers.

B) Nothing; a demand for her to ‘not milk it because there’s ironing to do’.

Your mum bought the wrong type of cereal. Did you:

A) Eat it anyway, if a little less enthusiastically than usual.

B) Wait for her to bring you a bowl then slowly push it off the table like a cat, all the while maintaining eye contact.

Mostly As: You were probably fine to your mum. Didn’t stop you laughing at other people being rude though, did it? Think on.

Mostly Bs: You were the ‘rude to their mum’ kid, but guess what? She’s having the last laugh because she owns a house and you’ll never be able to afford one.

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Staring into empty fridge does not make food appear, scientists confirm

YOU cannot restock a fridge by staring blankly into it for several minutes, it has been confirmed.

Researchers found that no matter how long you look a lone celery stick, tub of margarine and half a pint of milk they will not transform into an array of delicious high quality food.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “I would urge the general public not to try replenishing their cold food supplies in this way.

“If you do it for long enough you will simply starve to death.”

Fridge owner Wayne Hayes said: “I have been staring into the fridge for about three hours but it is still empty.

“I have also tried closing the door, walking away, then coming back and opening it again one minute later but still nothing.

“So it’s either half an iceberg lettuce or something weird in a Tupperware pot. I bet George Clooney doesn’t have these sort of problems.”