A WOMAN splitting up with her boyfriend hopes they can still stay in contact and hook up when drunk and lonely.
Tearful heartbreaker Lucy Parry is trying to take the edge off dumping her boyfriend of two years Jack Browne by suggesting they could still be friends who enjoy regret-laden sex whenever they have had a few pints.
She said: “Just because this is the end of our relationship it doesn’t mean we can’t carry on being booty calls. It would be a shame to throw away our sexual connection over something as trivial as not loving each other any more.
“After all, our rampant libidos and misguided alcohol-fuelled decisions are what brought us together to begin with. We don’t even have to hang out before or after if you’d find that weird. It could just be the most intimate human experience and nothing more.
“I know this is the sort of thing people say all the time when they break up, but I mean it. You’re still somewhat physically attractive to me and my self-esteem is at rock bottom. Promise me you’ll at least think about it, yeah?”
Browne said: “I’m on board. But only if we can kid ourselves into thinking we should give our relationship another go then repeat this whole doomed process a few dozen times. Otherwise it wouldn’t feel right.”