Thursday, 2nd April 2020

Woman realises her boyfriend is punching above his weight

A WOMAN has belatedly realised that she is way out of her boyfriend’s league. 

Nikki Hollis, aged 28, was repeatedly told by her girlfriends that she was too good for her current partner when they started dating, but has only just realised that they were perfectly serious.

Hollis said: “At first I thought they were joking, because he seemed like a real catch once you saw past his tribal tattoos and neck beard.

“But then I found out he’d been crashing at his mate’s place for the last eight months, and previously he’d been sleeping in his Nissan Skyline, and that he only showers at my place or the gym.

“I blame the epic honeymoon period shagathons for blinding me to the obvious fact that nobody’s perfect but almost anyone’s better than that waste of space.

“Now I’ve got to break it to him that he’s several levels below me on looks alone, that the whole relationship is a misunderstanding, and I need that £350 I’ve lent him back before I dump him this weekend.”

Boyfriend Tom Logan said: “Nikki’s a real catch for me. Unfortunately she’s worked that out.”