Wednesday, 28th October 2020

Adorable Brummie thinks he's going to be a yuppie

A BIRMINGHAM man has amused his family and friends by telling them he will use HS2 to get a well-paid job in London. 

Tom Logan, aged 22, keeps saying in his thick Brummie accent that he will travel to the capital to work in the City or the media, which everyone has described as ‘absolutely darling’.

Mother Kathy said: “Imagine. Our Tom a yuppie. Isn’t it just the cutest?

“He’s too naive to realise HS2 is a worthless vanity project that will still be in limbo in 2040, or that yuppies stopped being a thing 30 years ago, or that he’d never get a job because he didn’t go to public school or Oxbridge. Bless.

“I just love filming his little earnest face saying his little ambitions in his little Brummie voice. They’re so adorable when they still believe in the government.”

A Conservative spokesman said: “It’s wonderful that little Tom supports HS2 and I suggest he writes a letter to the prime minister, Mr Johnson, care of our press office.

“We’ll do a photo-opportunity where Boris shows him conceptual drawings of non-existent trains and gives him a badge and an ice-cream.”