Friday, 6th December 2019

Woman realises she only got married because smartphones had still to be invented

A WOMAN has realised that she would never have felt the need to get married if smartphones had been invented. 

Joanna Kramer married husband Nathan Muir in 2005 but in recent years has found that everything he was once useful for is now handled by her Samsung Galaxy S10.

She said: “Nathan said something and I looked up and wondered ‘Why do I still keep that around?’

“I thought back to the early days of our relationship and remembered how knowledgeable he was about films, how good at reading maps, how he was company in the evenings, and how that’s all on my phone now.

“He’s got a great music collection. I’ve got Spotify. We’d always talk about the news. I’ve got Twitter. We’d make each other laugh. I’ve got YouTube.

“All those long nights together playing Scrabble when if I’d only had the patience to wait a few years there’d be a plethora of word games in my very palm. Such a waste.

“Though, of course, when it comes to satisfying my sexual needs there’s no contest. PornHub is everything.”