A WOMAN who set out to voyage into the myriad mysteries of her sexual preferences is devastated to find she is uninterestingly straight.
Emma Bradford decided that exploring her fantasies about other genders, which she had not actually had but assumed it was only because she had not tried, would lead her to a new future of pansexuality, bisexuality or at the very least bicuriousity.
She said: “It hasn’t been working out with men, so naturally I blamed them. Casting society’s constraints aside I went on dates with women like a sexual revolutionary.
“Turns out I didn’t fancy them – they were women, it felt weird – they weren’t that keen on me, which I’d never considered, and actually I’m a boring straight woman who likes men.
“| even tried to convince myself I was asexual, which isn’t one of the better identities but it’s something, but no, I do actually fancy blokes. Especially the shite ones. It’s awful.
“It wasn’t even the penis thing with the women. They seemed lovely, but all the time we were chatting over drinks I couldn’t see past the fact that none of these women had video game addictions or wore gilets and apparently that’s what I’m into.”
She sighed: “I wish I hadn’t given myself false hope. Now I’m just completely f**ked.”
