Woman who stopped listening to friend’s problems five minutes ago hopes she’s giving right advice

A WOMAN who tuned out her friend’s whinges about her love life five minutes ago is having a stab in the dark at some sage advice.

Nikki Hollis was meant to be paying attention to friend Emma Bradford’s story about her latest relationship drama, but was instead thinking about Brexit, what she had in the fridge and Alexander Skarsgard.

She said: “I snapped back to reality when Emma said ‘What do you think I should do?’ As ever I held back my real feelings ie ‘Stop dating dickheads,’ so had to improvise.

“I went with ‘take it one day at a time’ to begin with, then told her ‘be true to you’. She seemed to like that, so I went full bullshit with ‘you’ve got to love yourself to believe you deserve to be loved’.

“By this time she was looking at me like I was some kind of wise old guru but then asked ‘So I should dump him? For that?’ and I nodded. I’ve no idea what he did. Doesn’t matter now, I guess.

“I rounded things off by adding ‘it’s all just part of your journey,’ which I got from The X-Factor. She lapped it up.”

Hollis added: “I need to get some better friends.”